Wednesday the 27th of January

Nothing’s gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you..’

For some reason, I found myself singing this song in the shower this morning (if you can call 11:oo am morning!) And I couldn’t help but think aloud, “yeah, right!”

‘The world may change my whole world through but

Nothing’s gonna change my love for you…”

“Sure!” I laughed. I am not criticizing the lyrics. I love the song, and I love ‘love’. The dreamy-eyed, love-sick teenager in me never died. What I am wondering here is how can someone be so sure of something? People tell this to other people in real life, y’know? “I love you, my feelings will never change for you, I’ll be always there for you, (oh, here’s my favorite) don’t compare me to your ex – you can trust me..”

Very young people, I can understand but past 30 and 40-somethings, really? Having been through a divorce, when I hear things like that, I am tempted to say, ‘..dude, don’t make promises you can’t keep…’ And having depression, I am very aware of how fickle feelings can be (yes, depression sufferers, a fog clearing does happen and I think it’s more towards the end, of depression. Not sure, I am not a certified therapist. But the awareness does arrive.)

My question is don’t the non-depression sufferers know that feelings are just that, feelings? Why don’t they doubt it? And I am talking about men here (mostly) – why do they say they will be there for you no matter what. Doesn’t it cross their minds that they could very well meet another woman, or they might discover a new career or God or they might just keel over clutching their chests?

I am not being derisive here – I am genuinely amazed at people’s ability to make promises. By now, you might be thinking, ‘gee, trust issues much?’ Yes, probably and abandonment issues too. God help my next husband!

So, past December was a nightmare. Even so, I started more than a couple paintings and drawings and finished none. I feel I am in a state of flux. I sense changes within me from week to week. Good changes. So here is one, a colored pencil/watercolor piece, that I was working on a few weeks ago until I put it away. Not sure if I will complete it.

forwordpressSo till next time, bye. I would like to apologize if my words offended any one – it was not my intention to do so.